Tag Archives: Denver Broncos

Manning Apparently Wants to Tebow

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Apparently Broncos fans are elated as future Hall of Fame quarterback and Superbowl champion Peyton Manning decides to play for the Denver Broncos for the upcoming season, picking the team over the San Francisco 49ers and the Tennessee Titans.

Manning was a free agent and as soon as he was able, he initiated talks with teams interested in him but was particularly interested in Denver, as reports emerged that he has many ties with the team, and that particular factor was important in his business decision to play for the Broncos.

Despite the elation and big pickup, Tim Tebow is still a Bronco – for now. The team has made the obvious choice as to who will start at quarterback, but I don’t know how Manning is going to handle all those minutes on the bench ;) Tebow forevar!!

Video discussion of the sacrilege is HERE.

Regardless of outcome, let’s take it in stride, folks – we get a fantastically hilarious phenomenon with a shelf life of about half a year left called “tebowing”. Further, we get the Sarah Palin of football except is more likeable and more intelligent – he sticks to being a jock and not some wanna be religious figure.

Brady Quinn Raining on the Tebow Parade

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Denver Broncos backup quarterback Brady Quinn is speaking out about his experience with Linsanity Tebowmania, and credits the team success not to Tim Tebow, but to a lucky season. In an interview with GQ, the unrestricted free agent lets it out.

He says he was expecting to become the starting quarterback this season but was surprised due to having Tebow take on the role, but he isn’t surprised, as Quinn points out the chants from the crowd and the cries for Tebow to take the helm as the reason why the coaches ultimately made the decision to start Tebow instead of him.

Further, he says, much of the 4th-quarter heroics Tebow became known for was actually luck, says Quinn.

“The entire game, the defensive line is chasing the quarterback around, and that wears down the pass rush. Meanwhile, the defensive backs are chasing receivers, but you only throw eight passes, so they start to feel lazy. It only takes that one play, that one big pass, for a touchdown,” Quinn said.

Moreoever, Quinn accused Tebow of being a sort of fame hound, citing his incredible enthusiasm to pray in front of everyone and the cameras with his teammates instead of doing so more discretely.

Understandably, Quinn is receiving a backlash from Tebow fans, and has since issued an apology saying GQ misconstrued what he said and that Tim Tebow is a great teammate and player.

Full story is HERE.

Remember the lesson from high school, Mr. Quinn, if you make fun of the most popular kid in school who is also the state champion star, you’re going to get backlash and a bunch of armchair beer drinkers watching the drama unfold trolling you.

Where’s my beer?

 

Why Worry About SOPA when you can get Tebowed

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I would like to go out on a limb here and expand the definition of Tebowing - as this picture above gloriously describes. Rather than say this man got a tattoo of Tim Tebow Tebowing, isn’t it more efficient, dare I say, epic, to say this inspired youth just got Tebowed?

It’s official, Tim Tebow is now a cultural phenomenon for at least 2 more weeks plus commercials and people are getting tattoos of his trademark move – problem is a proper Tebow, as explained by the very informative sites on the internet involves placing one’s fist on the forehead and not putting your arm on the knee (the tattoo artist should be excommunicated for his crimes).

So yes, the man has an over-sized Denver Bronco larger than the mountains (I assume the Rocky mountains since that’s in Colorado) with a man that appears to play football but apparently spends his time kneeling on grassy, peaceful plains, bends down sort of like Tim Tebow and has a gaudy tattoo all over his back.

Yep, he got Tebowed.

High School Basketball Players Beaten up for Tebowing

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Apparently the phenomenon “Tebowing” has caught on, where a person randomly gets on a knee and starts praying despite what’s going on in the background (pictured above, and is the proper procedure, time and place to Tebow, fyi).

Inspired by the mighty avatar of the Jesus, A South Carolina high school basketball team sank a rival school in a game by 20 points, at which point the team decided to thank the obvious reason for their victory and began to Tebow in respect.

Not letting their dark lord and master, Satan lose the battle all so easily to the Tebowing teen athletes, the rival team proceeded to beat up the holy guards and forwards with a fantastically smooth jump shot.

“They were scared for their lives,” a mother of a Tebower said. “No one was manning the exits to make sure this wouldn’t happen. The kids who did this apparently knew that.”

Full story is HERE.

Oh, and as an aside, Tim got Tebowed by the New England Patriots and the premarital sex loving Tom Brady, 45-10 and are out of the playoffs.

Tebow is Riding the Endorsement Pony

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Looks like I get tea bagged by Tim Tebow yet again. Apparently the Denver Broncos quarterback is making a killing in endorsements, according to new reports.

Firms FRS Co. and Jockey International are happy beneficiaries of T-dog’s endorsements, but wouldn’t disclose specific numbers as to why. However, if Facebook indications are any suggestion, Jockey’s Facebook fans now number over 193,000, which increased a whopping 2,000% since signing Tebow.

Full story is HERE.

I will do what any rationally minded atheist would do. I’m thanking my lord and savior for a great blog and great blog readers and thinking Tim Tebow would be an upstanding gentleman to promote my interests.

Tiger Woods’ Partner in the Pro Am: Tim Tebow? Fire and Ice, Bzzt Baby!

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Yes, as you know, my dear readers, all 3 of you I am not a big fan of Tim Tebow because, well, he’s sort of like uh, bat shit dumb, but seems like a nice guy! However, there is another side of the populace that completely disagrees and thinks Tim Tebow is greater than cackling with glee while cutting patterns. People like John Parr, the musician who sang the #1 hit “St. Elmo’s Fire”. Apparently Mr. Parr remade his popular song just for Mr. Tebow and it’s featured above (I think I offended several domestic pets in the vicinity who heard that remake).

On to the story:

Pebble Beach is the host of the upcoming AT&T National Pro-Am and the committee in charge is asking Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow to team up with Tiger Woods as the embroiled ex phenom (meaning Woods, bahahah) is playing the event for the first time since 2002.

Full article is HERE.

So if Tebow and Woods team up and they win, it’s all because of God, but if they lose it’s due to Woods’ insatiable lust and sinful ways?

Yep, sounds about right. This may be the best Christmas EVAR!

 

Poll: 43 Percent Believes God Helps Tebow Win. 57 Percent Setting Death Traps for 43 Percent.

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According to a nationwide telephone survey by Poll Position (seriously, it’s actually their name), 43 percent believe that God, the monotheistic deity of the Judeo-Christian tradition is responsible for Tim Tebow’s victories on the football field. Slightly less (oh goodness, they’re killing us off slowly, aren’t they?)  – 42 percent think that God has nothing to do with T-dog winning.

Also of note: 54 percent of Republicans polled believed God is helping Tebow while 48 percent of Democrats think God isn’t helping at all.

100 percent of me wants to build a small hut on a deserted island and live with my new monkey neighbor friends after reading about this study.

Full story is HERE.